Category paralysis

desperate devotion

BSGeiger Leave a comment


if today were the day that he killed you
would you wonder why you stayed?

if you are being physically abused
you know, on some level, that you are in danger.

if you are staying in that situation
for reasons that seem good to you,
but make you wonder if you should,
consider,
that if you wait until tomorrow
to leave,
or think about leaving,
or to try to stop the madness,
that you may just be too late.

for a battered woman,
there is always a chance
that tomorrow may be the day that you die
or
that you may turn the tables,
and become the thing you fear.

don’t let this desperate devotion
keep you in this dangerous place.

an abusive relationship is not worth saving
you are worth saving,
and there really are things worse than dying.

(c) 2020 BGeiger

time

BSGeiger Leave a comment

time is crashing into me
heavily,
demanding that i write the words
that run screaming through my head,
for the benefit of someone,
somewhere
who crouches, barely breathing,
behind a locked door,
waiting
for the end.

tears cross the planes of her face,
drizzling slowly
toward the broken heart
that beats behind the purple bruises
from the last time.

no one will come to help
no one knows
that she is hiding
once again,
waiting for the storm to pass.
to live through it one more time

i have bared my soul to the universe
so that perhaps
one woman
or one child
might live a better life

i hope it is enough

(c) 2021 BGeiger

sign posts

BSGeiger 2 Comments


you won’t see her much these days
they always ask, but she stays away
her secret life has such demands
she has no time for her old friends

they see the pain behind her eyes
they see the change but don’t know why
she was so bright and vibrant then
the music of her soul has dimmed
her old friends see and want to say
but she wouldn’t tell them anyway

her sunny smile seems insincere
her house too clean, her kids too quiet
her hair and makeup always perfect
she looks the part, but she’s just not
the happy girl they knew and loved
she won’t ask and they won’t say
but they can’t help her anyway

she keeps her sorrows tucked away
she needs help but she won’t say
her secret shame keeps her withdrawn
if only she could tell someone

one day soon, maybe today
they might ask
and she might say
and they will help her get away

(c) 2020 BGeiger

stupid, worthless, fat/skinny, ugly, fucking bitch

BSGeiger Leave a comment


nobody will ever love you like i do,
you fucking bitch.
you are worthless, stupid,
fat/skinny as the case may be,
and of course, ugly.

if you just hadn’t said/done that.
it’s your fault that i had to (you know).

if you have heard some version of this,
you are being abused.
wake up
you are not any of those things.
you do not deserve to live in fear
he is not worth this damage to your body and your mind.
listen to your brain, not his lies.
your ego has lost its way,
look for what is true.

abuse is a life-time lease on a condo in hell.
the only way out is to open the door,
put one foot in front of the other
and walk away


(c) 2020 BGeiger

belonging

BSGeiger Leave a comment

dreamscape_000 (2)

what draws us to the fire of our own destruction?
to a person who takes the shine from our lives
and the hope from our hearts?
what flame is that with such power over us?

let go of the need to dance with the fire.
belong to yourself



(c) 2020 BGeiger

the devil you know

BSGeiger Leave a comment
IMG_9637


it is a sad fact,
many victims of abuse
will go back to their abusers.

there are many reasons,
but often it’s because the devil you know
is not as frightening
as the devil you don’t know.

starting over is hard
when you leave with nothing
but your life.

promises of true love
and new beginnings
can be tempting.

unfortunately,
the devil you know
will get even.
the devil you know
will
hurt you again.

because
the devil you know
is still the devil.


(c) 2020 BGeiger

abuse

BSGeiger Leave a comment
IMG_1400


interpret the word however you like.
if you have no power in your relationship,
no control over your own life
and no hope,
this is abuse.

if your confidence has been stolen from you,
if you must tiptoe
through the turbulence between power and ego,
this is abuse.

if words are only safe unspoken
thoughts monitored for subversion,
feelings stuffed between the sofa cushions,
you are being abused.

if you are paralyzed with fear
of staying, of leaving
of dying, of not dying
and have nowhere left to go,
you are being abused.


(c) 2020 BGeiger

screaming at the sun

BSGeiger Leave a comment
geminidetail

hollow footsteps echo
through sterile parquet hallways.
stark walls boldly announce original works of masterful color,
aching with soulful beauty.

each wrenched from brush and palate by a captive artist
who gave hope and heart to beauty,
only to die alone.

quite suddenly
i am face to face with a crying woman
trapped in canvas
’till dust again.

her deeply fractured sorrow
singes the edges my soul
and i know
why she cries alone


(c) 2020 BGeiger