desperate devotion


if today were the day that he killed you
would you wonder why you stayed?

if you are being physically abused
you know, on some level, that you are in danger.

if you are staying in that situation
for reasons that seem good to you,
but make you wonder if you should,
consider,
that if you wait until tomorrow
to leave,
or think about leaving,
or to try to stop the madness,
that you may just be too late.

for a battered woman,
there is always a chance
that tomorrow may be the day that you die
or
that you may turn the tables,
and become the thing you fear.

don’t let this desperate devotion
keep you in this dangerous place.

an abusive relationship is not worth saving
you are worth saving,
and there really are things worse than dying.

(c) 2020 BGeiger

lovely lies

once there was a truth between us
and then a lie,
then many more
’till we were lost along the way somewhere.

there once was love behind your eyes
but now we dance around the lies
as you pierce the very air
with the sharpened knives of your unremitting rage

the music starts
and my emotional museum
dredges up some dusty piece of trouble
from a basement closet that opens inward, but not out.
i blow off the dust,
shine up the lies,
and my precious good intentions fail to save me,
once again

i could live with ugly truth
it is your lovely lies that i find difficult to bury
as i toss my shovel-full of dirt
onto the empty casket
of what never really was.

(c) 2020 BGeiger

beware


seeing stars on the way down
knocked flat, no warning
i wasn’t really hungry anyway.

physical abuse
is preceded
by insidious, biting ridicule
that quietly erodes the ego necessary
for self-preservation.

contempt and scorn
are the daily bread of the dis-loved woman.
she can not complain
she has no one left to listen.
eventually she capitulates, at last believing
that abuse is what she deserves.

i have come to believe that
the abuser loves the challenge
of besting a woman who will fight for her power.
for i was not so much battered,
as conquered.

beware the charming man


(c) 2020 BGeiger

whispers


his love is a poison
wrapped up in ribbons,
a slow suffocation of all that seemed shining,
a promise of dark dreams stinging with terror
while violence lurks behind yesterday’s flowers.

she is cut to the bone with whispers and smiles.
this is not love, this is raw, wicked power.
it is rape with soft words that leave torn, jagged wounds
on the bright, bloody shards of the soul of his lover.

the shadow of fear, falls cold as the night
as hearts search in darkness,
for truth without lies.

(c) 2020 BGeiger

sign posts


you won’t see her much these days
they always ask, but she stays away
her secret life has such demands
she has no time for her old friends

they see the pain behind her eyes
they see the change but don’t know why
she was so bright and vibrant then
the music of her soul has dimmed
her old friends see and want to say
but she wouldn’t tell them anyway

her sunny smile seems insincere
her house too clean, her kids too quiet
her hair and makeup always perfect
she looks the part, but she’s just not
the happy girl they knew and loved
she won’t ask and they won’t say
but they can’t help her anyway

she keeps her sorrows tucked away
she needs help but she won’t say
her secret shame keeps her withdrawn
if only she could tell someone

one day soon, maybe today
they might ask
and she might say
and they will help her get away

(c) 2020 BGeiger

the grave

the shining bride
who promised life and love
may take comfort in oath well kept
though little else gives ease to her thin bones

once sweet romance has shivered quietly
into her lonely, frozen grave
she offers up the polished doors to living hell
as consolation prize

the desperate clutch of fantasy
leaves desiccated weeds where gardens flourished
in the summer of her dreams
and the broken bride walks slowly toward
the dreadful ending of her fairy tale

(c) 2020 BGeiger

stupid, worthless, fat/skinny, ugly, fucking bitch


nobody will ever love you like i do,
you fucking bitch.
you are worthless, stupid,
fat/skinny as the case may be,
and of course, ugly.

if you just hadn’t said/done that.
it’s your fault that i had to (you know).

if you have heard some version of this,
you are being abused.
wake up
you are not any of those things.
you do not deserve to live in fear
he is not worth this damage to your body and your mind.
listen to your brain, not his lies.
your ego has lost its way,
look for what is true.

abuse is a life-time lease on a condo in hell.
the only way out is to open the door,
put one foot in front of the other
and walk away


(c) 2020 BGeiger

the devil you know

IMG_9637


it is a sad fact,
many victims of abuse
will go back to their abusers.

there are many reasons,
but often it’s because the devil you know
is not as frightening
as the devil you don’t know.

starting over is hard
when you leave with nothing
but your life.

promises of true love
and new beginnings
can be tempting.

unfortunately,
the devil you know
will get even.
the devil you know
will
hurt you again.

because
the devil you know
is still the devil.


(c) 2020 BGeiger

merciless

eyes downcast
smile frozen in place
she thinks that she is hiding her pain.
dancing on a wire
to a tune played by her leading man.
it is a frantic dance,
a carefully choreographed ballet.

any flat look of disappointment sends ice into her heart.
there is no end to the music
no breath between sets
she must anticipate each twirl and spin
for failure is unthinkable
and punishment is swift.

when finally she sleeps,
her dreams are wastelands.
sadly, she still hopes to please
to find what is lacking, repair the breach, and return to the fairy tale.
she does not yet understand
that fairy tales are horror stories
in the end.


(c) 2020 BGeiger