lovely lies

once there was a truth between us
and then a lie,
then many more
’till we were lost along the way somewhere.

there once was love behind your eyes
but now we dance around the lies
as you pierce the very air
with the sharpened knives of your unremitting rage

the music starts
and my emotional museum
dredges up some dusty piece of trouble
from a basement closet that opens inward, but not out.
i blow off the dust,
shine up the lies,
and my precious good intentions fail to save me,
once again

i could live with ugly truth
it is your lovely lies that i find difficult to bury
as i toss my shovel-full of dirt
onto the empty casket
of what never really was.

(c) 2020 BGeiger

beware


seeing stars on the way down
knocked flat
no warning.
i wasn’t really hungry anyway.

physical abuse
is preceded
by insidious, biting ridicule
that quietly erodes the ego necessary
for self-preservation.

contempt and scorn
are the daily bread of the dis-loved woman
she can not complain
she has no one left to listen
eventually she capitulates
at last believing
that abuse is what she deserves.

i have come to believe
that the abuser loves the challenge
of besting a strong woman.
i was not so much battered,
as conquered.

if i had only read
The Taming of the Shrew
instead of Romeo and Juliet
i might have been
at least
forewarned.

beware the charming man


(c) 2020 BGeiger

whispers


love may be poison
wrapped up in ribbons,
a slow suffocation of all that seemed shining,
a promise of dark dreams
stinging with terror,
as violence lurks behind yesterday’s flowers

she is cut to the bone,
with whispers and smiles.
this is not love, this is raw, wicked power.
it is rape, with soft words
leaving torn, jagged wounds
on the bright, bloody shards
of the soul of his lover.

the shadow of fear, falls cold as the night
as hearts search in darkness,
for truth without lies.

(c) 2020 BGeiger

on leaving


go, or stay, but do not think
that if you wait it might get better
that the first time will be the last time,
don’t excuse the violence,
it is not just stress or job or no job or money or no money,
an abuser will be abusive
no matter the circumstance
the sad truth is that once it starts, it will always, only, ever, get worse

when is it time to leave?
when you realize that no one,
not even god, will change him for you,
when you no longer care about what you are leaving behind,
when your children tell you that it’s time to go,
it is

when you decide to leave, just do it
don’t pack more than you need,
don’t leave a note,
don’t call your mother,
don’t involve your friends,
don’t waste time gathering things that you are not willing to die for
and whatever you do,
don’t go back,
don’t ever go back,
no matter how sorry he seems
you must know that if you give him the chance
the abuser will get even


(c) 2020 BGeiger

stupid, worthless, fat/skinny, ugly, f*cking bitch


nobody will ever love you like i do, you f*cking bitch.
you are worthless, stupid, fat/skinny, ugly.
if you just hadn’t said/done that.
it’s your fault that i had to (you know).

if you have heard some version of this,
you are being abused.

wake up.
you are not any of those things.
you do not deserve to live in fear.
you do not deserve this damage to your body or your mind.
listen to your brain, not your ego.
your ego has lost its way.
see what is really there.
look for what is true.

abuse is the life-time lease on a condo in hell.
the only way out is to open the door,
put one foot in front of the other
and walk away.


(c) 2020 BGeiger

what was now


injustice is born from our very humanity,
our need for power, wealth and our enormous vanity.
we destroy our neighbors, our environment,
the futures of our children’s children, and our souls
with those same promises and lies
that have always ever turned us one against the other
for the benefit of the oppressor
never for our own.

what is today, sadly, is what has always been.
tomorrow, if there is to be one,
will require nothing less than the evolution of our very souls,
from our caves and clubs and petty, excruciating wars
to the open minds of harmony and love,
before the final bits of what was now
are scattered to the wind.

(c) 2020 BGeiger

the day after

IMG_9492


becoming older is simple
it sneaks up on you,
until it doesn’t

this beauty will also grow old,
crumple in upon herself
and lose her amazing petals,
which feel wooden to my careful touch

it is my joy to have witnessed her life
even as my aging body requires me to walk slowly enough to notice
thank goodness

do not allow your old age to be stolen from you
run
get out
your stuff isn’t worth it

don’t wait to leave until the day after he kills you


(c) 2020 BGeiger