So you think that you still love your abuser?
Do you think that you can work it out with patience and kindness?
Or maybe you think that you can handle it, until he gets better. The poor baby is having so much trouble controlling his temper. He doesn’t understand why he does it. He wants you to forgive him and love him just like you used to. Sounds like a plan.
Counseling might help.
Forgiveness might work.
If you think that calling 911 on your cell phone will protect you from your abuser in a real emergency, I hope that you will reconsider. Immediately.
An article that was published in the New York Times on December 30, 2009 talked about Philadelphia police changing the way they deal with domestic abuse calls in their city. Its message is timeless:
“Commissioner Giorgio-Fox added that 21 of the 35 domestic homicide victims [of 2009] had made a total of 178 calls to the police, and that some of the callers had restraining orders against the individuals suspected or convicted of killing them.”
Twenty-one women who called for police help. Fourteen who didn’t call, or weren’t able to call.
Every one of them are dead.
Thirty-five domestic violence deaths, in one year, in one city.
Those women do not get another chance to reconcile, be patient, forgiving, or work things out.
How much abuse do you want to take?
Do you want to stay until the bitter end?
Threats are not always empty.
Promises are sometimes kept.
I hope that, if you are in danger, and if you know, deep down, that you need to leave, you will reach out to your community and locate a shelter. Get away while there is still a chance for you to do so. Don’t wait until there is a gun pointed at your head to realize that you are in a bad situation.
Domestic Violence escalates – it’s a fact.
Don’t make excuses.
Your stuff isn’t worth your life.
The holidays aren’t worth your life.
Waiting for a good time to leave might be deadly.
The excuses will kill you.