What, exactly, is domestic violence? It is just physical abuse? And what exactly is verbal/mental abuse? What does that mean? Is verbal abuse a reason to leave, if he has never hit you?

Does he hit you? Kick you? Deliver a well planned punch when you are not looking? Does he engage in frightening behavior and then demand obedience to his role as your husband? Does he throw things at you?

Does he frighten you for no reason (or for his entertainment)? Does he threaten to kill you? Or harm your loved-ones? Does he accuse you of infidelity and/or other “crimes” against him or against your relationship, for no reason?

Do you feel that you might be losing your mind? Have you begun to wonder if, possibly, he is right, and that you are truly any or some of those names he calls you?

Have you given up trying to reach out for help? Does he intimidate your loved ones and friends, so that you are not sure that anyone would actually help you in a tough moment?

Has he threatened to take your children away from you? Does he tell you that he will go far away, and that you will never see them again? Do you feel totally out of control? Do you wonder what is wrong with you?

Welcome to domestic hell.

If your beloved creates an environment of violence and fear, such that you begin to doubt your sanity and your worth as a human being, you are, indeed, living with domestic violence. Do not doubt it.

What can you do? Make a plan, follow the plan, and get out. Make the break with insanity. You can go forward for yourself and your children. You do not have to be a prisoner in his world. You can make your own world.

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